Question: What Is
the Biblical view of Dating?
Answer by: Dr. John Ankerberg and Dr. John Weldon
The Christian view of dating is based on biblical principles which
God has designed to protect relationships, marriage, and the family.
There are at least four principles of Christian dating which, if
obeyed, will prevent the kinds of tragedies that millions of our kids
suffer today. While the level of individual maturity may affect one’s
approach to some of these principles, we think they are sound general
standards.
1. The Sanctity of Marriage (Respect the purpose of dating.)
Serious dating is primarily designed for finding a marriage partner.
This means that kids should consider postponing serious dating until
they are ready to handle the responsibilities of marriage. Thus, it is
better to start dating later than earlier. Statistics indicate that
children who begin dating at a very young age (the early teenage years)
are much more likely to become sexually involved pre-maritally than if
they begin dating in the later teenage years.
2. Consecration and Sanctification (Select your dates carefully.)
Teach your children to date Christians only. The modern church offers
many examples where Christians decided to date non-Christians—even
innocently or with good motives—and ended up in trouble. The differences
between the committed Christian and the non-Christian are so profound
that such a couple has little in common spiritually to begin with. The
two are principally attracted on physical or emotional grounds. This
tends to set the tone for their subsequent relationship. Further, if an
emotional attraction develops on the part of the Christian to the
non-Christian, this easily leads into compromise of the believer’s
convictions in order to retain the relationship. By dating only
Christians, these problems can be prevented.
3. Cultivating Wisdom and Discernment (Select your dates even more
carefully.)
Beyond dating a Christian, date only committed Christians. Dating a
person who is not a committed Christian is usually not that different
from dating a non-Christian. If an emotional involvement develops, it is
just as easy for the committed Christian to compromise his or her
standards. This may happen even more readily because the non-committed
Christian may still be sensitive to spiritual things.
4. Chastity (Be abstinent by personal conviction.)
Allow no sexual involvement prior to marriage. Period. Although in
our day and age it is easy to compromise and attempt to limit sexuality
to kissing and petting, in the end this is destructive. Petting
generates strong emotional attachments which are better left alone and
reserved for marriage. Involvement of this nature also makes it far more
easy to give in to fornication, which God considers a serious sin for
which He will punish His children. This is why God says, "But among you
there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality" (Ephesians 5:3).
With proper personal standards, dating can be a lot of fun and a
source of great mutual enrichment, encouragement, and growth in the
faith. But when biblical standards are violated by Christians, the
result may be great pain or even tragedy.
